all i could do is put a seashell to your ear

making pictures is a kind of gentle hunt to find all the things i tucked away in that endless vast mansion i call my subconscious. i am just going around turning on all the lights in all the rooms and helping those memories to be their best and be calm and happy.

tired.

so how much difference could it possibly make, yah, how much effort could it possibly take to save me from sailing over the edge?


the mirrors images manipulating my thought, lost in the dark...searching for a light but only darkness comes. i feel your presence but we both know you're not really there. oh, how i miss you.  if i could see you once more even only if in my slumber... we were cheated. 

there is a hole in my heart.  i want to be whole.


happiness comes and goes so quickly. i haven't been living. i'm just doing. i miss your enthusiasm. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. first things first, one thing at a time. i wish i could hear you again. i wish you were here again.

( )

yes, he hit me and it felt like a kiss. he hit me and I knew I loved him. and then he took me in his arms with all the tenderness there is, and when he kissed me, he made me his.

i drink too much and smoke too fast.

had a strange dream this morning and it reminded me of this song.  i forgot how much i love the video.

i would like to continue....

le retour

I haven’t slept in so long. When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean, Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down, Inside these arms of yours.

cant bring myself to fly away.

dont let heavy hearts pile up on you but how can i when i'm too scared to speak
i cried all night but i put in too much to turn away now ive been waiting for you to say that i am better off with out you

strange times. sinking back into a dark place. stay afloat, struggling. the dreams (nightmares) return. haunting. restless. powerless.